Matters of the Heart - Pt. 1
Written: 7/8/26 @ 11:00pm
When it’s time to make a decision, what do you take into consideration? Does it change depending on the situation? Do you ever do a heart check or consider how this decision makes you feel? Does your intuition or your heart’s desires ever take a back seat? A front seat?
At what point in life do we stop checking whether something feels right and hyper-focus only on what benefits us? Logic is fine and dandy, but we cannot negate the heart or ignore our intuition. I think there should be a healthy balance between the two, and I don’t think there will ever be a time when we have to choose one over the other. Logic and intuition should confirm one another.
If you lead with logic, check in and ask yourself, "But does this feel right too?" If you’re making a faith-based decision... though it can be hard at times (maybe I’m speaking for myself lol), ask yourself, "Okay, what can I do to make this decision feel a bit safer?"
Two years ago, when I decided to take on teaching, a few things came into play:
I felt like time was ticking! I was already at a crossroads in a sense... I had been a classroom assistant for a few years, & I knew I couldn’t do another year of that shit.
I didn’t quite feel confident enough to leave the school I spent five years at.
I was at the point in life where I just wanted to be decisive! As a chronic over-thinker, I didn’t wanna spend another year as an assistant just so I could spend a whole year mulling over whether I wanted to take a new step or not.
As you can see, I led with logic here. At no point did I say, "I LOVE working with kids!" or "I have always wanted to be a teacher!"
Since I started working in schools, I was always hearing, "You would be a great teacher," or "You’re a natural, and you’re already here, so you might as well teach and make more money." So when an opportunity came for me to apply to a teacher’s program, I reasoned w/ myself, & I took a risk I thought would be beneficial. I thought to myself, "If I do this program & teach for four years, I’ll have a free degree, I can save some money for what I really wanna do in life, & prepare for the near future." So I applied... did the interviews, talked w/ God about my next move, & I made a decision without looking back.
I launched this blog, PoP, literally two weeks before the teacher program started as a birthday gift to myself in 2024.
This is where my heart was really trying to lead me, but just like Santiago in The Alchemist, I thought I had to do the most, just to realize I already was where I needed to be! I was being called to be more creative at that time... something I still wasn’t quite sure I had in me.
After that, I was fully immersed in preparing to become a teacher.
I wish I could say those 10 months flew by... but I felt every bit of it. Now remember I said I talked w/ God? Y’all ever heard that the devil gotta get permission from God to fuck with you?... THIS HAD TO BE ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS! Lmaooo. I honestly was not in a good space during that time. During those 10 months, I lost one of my favorite people ever, my great-grandma, & seven months later, my dad. I lived alone in a stankin' ass studio apartment, & what used to be my pride & joy—my cozy corner—started feeling... lonely and depressing lbs.
In honor of
Lillian and Hernando 💜
Mind you, I was still going to work at the school every day & had classes immediately after. I had no time to process much. I just kept my head down & tried my hardest to complete the program... which I did, by the way! I passed every class w/ an A lol. Though those 10 months draggggged, the transition from student to teacher was quick af! & the momentum never slowed down. I never got the break I so desperately needed, & it kicked my assssssss lol. In my mind, I thought I was doing something by saying, "Oh, teaching can help me fund what I really wanna do." But what had happened was... teaching CONSUMED my whole life! Lol, I had no energy to pursue my heart's truest desires, and the toll that took on me was crazy!
In Matters of the Heart Pt. 2, I’ll dive more into the lessons I learned these past couple of years and how I applied them. Stay tuned! :)
Peace Peeps ✌🏾,
Pri 💜
Just Journal It!
If your mind and your heart sat down for a conversation today, what would each of them say? Which one has been doing most of the talking lately... and which one deserves to be heard?
Write it down! I promise writing is sooo much different than keeping everything in that noggin lol😄